I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to go to the Free Indeed class with His Truth Transforms International. My husband and I were going through a pretty tough time. I can’t remember a time where I had been hit so hard in every area, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially, all at once. Maybe two at a time, but they never seemed to really bankrupt my faith, like this did. I felt empty. I wasn’t sure if I was more angry or more hurt. We hadn’t gotten any work in months, our marriage was going through some hard trials, we were getting sued, and we were going through a miscarriage that ended with a class 3 hemorrhage that took us to the ER, without insurance.
After some weeks went by, I told my husband, I don’t know why I can’t pull myself out of this, this time. I mean, I’ve always thought I was pretty strong when things would happen. There were several things I could turn to in the past, but they came from a physical, emotional, spiritual, or financial area. Those were all empty, broken, and completely down for the count.
I had to decide if I should spend $30 on a baby shower gift (it was the same day Free Indeed started) or on the 9-week Free Indeed class. I asked my husband what he thought, and he told me my friend would understand and I could get her a gift later. He thought I really needed to be fed spiritually. So, I chose the class.
Every week of the Free Indeed class felt like God gently guiding me back and reassuring me He was so present through all of this. The classes, the material, the ladies, walked me through each area I was struggling with, without realizing it, because it was all from the Spirit using them and this material to speak to me and answer my questions. The lies I was believing that my circumstances were telling me, the Truth was able to free me from them. And they were giving me the Truth in the way God knew I could hear and take it in fully.
The week we covered Emotions, was perfect timing. When you get hit by a train, as I had felt like I did, it can be hard to know which emotions are OK and what those emotions are really saying about where you are in your faith. The Free Indeed class delivered it in such a way, it felt like it was the first time I truly understood emotions and where they came from and how we are supposed to learn from them and truly be Spirit led. And actually, at 40, it probably was the first time.
Through Free Indeed, the Holy Spirit has taught me and reassured that He is my strength (physically), He is the fruit that I should be baring (emotionally), and He is everything I need, He is enough (financially). Christ is my true identity. It was hard to make sense of that, until now. And it’s a process.
We didn’t get a million dollar client, people will try to hurt us, I may never get pregnant again, we will always have bills to pay, but I can rest now. I can find joy in all the things God has given me, us. And most importantly, I can lean on His promises instead of my efforts. And it feels so good.